As our story begins, King Bob, of the Court of Carbo, and his merry knights have gathered for some feasting on steamed crabs and beer, and to watch dem Os on the tube. This noble band consisted of Sir Paul the Peddler- who never gets winded, Sir Gregg - who used to be chief grunt and cable boy until Gary came along, so now he's, let's say, Chief Technician and Generator of Ideas, Sir Scottalot - Taker of many Pictures and Doer of Extreme Things, Sir Gary - new Chief Grunt and Cable Boy, and the Old Knight Sir Bob - Talker of Much Trash (not appearing in this story though....not because he's a wimp or anything, just because of ...er...health reasons, yea his health, that's it!). Any way, so there they were enjoying a Natty Boh when suddenly........
....there appeared in the sky a great vision which astounded them all. (if you insist on hearing that dramatic sound effect again, just hit the refresh button on your browser.)It was none other than the Supreme Being (No, not Michael Jordan, the other one!). He spake thusly "Yo Bob, King of the Carbos - Have I gotta job for you! You and your Knights are to be an example, of what I'm not sure, but I insist never the less. You must go on a quest - a quest to fling a pumpkin farther than anyone has before - using only human power of course - none of that compressed air, electric motors and such - I don't want to have to compete with all those sponsors you know. To accomplish this task you must build a mighty and noble machine, a seige engine - you are my examples after all. Once you have flung this pumpkin farther than any other human, I will sanctify it as a truly Holy Gourd! This is your calling - The Quest for the Holy Gourd. (trumpets would do nicely here, don't you think?) By the way, could you put together a really nice little web page too? - I could use some good publicity. "
King Bob pondered on just what kind of hurling machine would be noble enough to suit this holy purpose. He wisely decided to consult the Holy Book of Armaments. In the Holy Book he learned of the efforts of the infamous Sir Ralph and of the great Major Shramm, of the research of the wise Sir Eric, and the knowledge available at the Holy Catapult Message Board. It soon became quite clear that a torsion powered siege engine was the way to go, so they began constructing a catapult namedTHE ONAGER(well what did you expect?!) and there was much rejoicing.
After much designing and testing, their machine was finally built. Ready for action, and armed with a Top Flite pumpkin, they departed the Castle Carbo and set out on their quest. The journey was long and difficult, requiring them to face many perils - tires blowing out, broken windshields, and even getting lost so that they had to actually ask for directions once! Of course these were not the only perils they faced, well not really perils, more like obstacles, actually more like a pain in the butt...well you get the idea.
In the land of Raleigh they met face to face with a three headed behemoth from the swamps of Florida. The enemy challenged them with none other than the dreaded Melon Musket - a human powered air cannon. In the heat of battle the mighty Onager had a slight mishap - well, maybe not so slight.....(this is a dramatic transition!)
The Onager's sling broke, and fired it's projectile straight up. Team Carbo did what seemed like the right thing to do at the time, and the battle cry could be heard "Run Away!!!"
"Hmmm, looks like a clear case of Punkin Abuse to me! As the local Punkin Police, it's my job to catch the ones who are responsible for this, and bring them to justice!"
While in the land of Raleigh, Team Carbo was also challenged by a feisty newcomer known as Pumpkin Slayer - a spring powered catapult (a really nice design I have to admit).
TWONG!!!. (this is supposed to be a sound effect)
Though humiliated at Raleigh, Team Carbo promised "I'll be Back!"(just say that like Arnold Swartzenager- you get the idea). Team Carbo proved to be true to their word when they met Pumpkin Slayer again in Delaware, this time trouncing those upstarts soundly...well maybe not soundly, but there were defeated, so there was much rejoicing.
Team Carbo and the Onager knew that sooner or later on this journey they would come up against their long time nemesis -The Knights who say "Me". These nasty knights continued their barrage of threatening talk - promising to annihilate all competition with their high tech equipment, advanced materials, superior engineering, better fitting jeans, and silly looking helmets. Despite the fact that these Knights are very Hyper and that they had a Trebuchet type machine that could store loads of Tension, Team Carbo was unafraid, having heard much of this kind of talk before. They did battle at Busti, New York then in Delaware, but when the smoke cleared - the mighty medeival Onager prevailed (in the Human Powered Division) , and again there was much rejoicing!